Author: Nikki In a Nutshell

Is that what you want?

Around theses parts people drive wrong direction in your lane off road on sidewalk just cruising at high speeds … adults continue/never fail to disappoint.

Forget me.

… me not being given what I needed/wanted to operate my computer. It was mine & looking around in hindsight no one else had theirs & weren’t tripping off of it rather going on with things/their lives. Let me first say that you should never allow someone else power over you causing you to do things you would never choose to do otherwise. Showing severe immaturity anger & unreasonableness in protest I went about the business of destroying all that I came in contact with. I saw many familiar faces & and lots of new ones. I was behaving in an an abusive unhealthy & dangerous manner everywhere that I found myself. Others saw it for what it was & didn’t have/want anything to do with it/me. Even one the least favorite people in my real life dropped a bag of opened chips in my lap when I decided to finally get somewhere & sit down. I wouldn’t eat them because they were coming from her. What on earth was I trying to prove & to who??? I’d missed out on so much & this was only a mere dream … & would have continued to miss out had the dream continued. I wasn’t happy in the dream either, inside or out & it was showing big time. I’ve come to the conclusion that in real life I’ve missed out on so much because I hadn’t handled disappointment properly just as I had in this dream. Ain’t no point in continuing/moving forward in that fashion/manner. We are all going through something’s whether or not we know it but their is certainly no room for this kind of behavior, from me, outside of this dream. I don’t even wanna ‘dream’ nothing like it no more … not unless I got some lessons to learn. I must/want to show up for everyone involved in the best possible ways without any inklings of the nonsense I just woke up from.

… is getting restless …

Some people are deep. Some people are broad. I’m deep. You won’t find ME everywhere, all over the place, by ANY stretch of the imagination.

Once again, in the middle of the night, during my not so sound sleep, I caused my open suitcase to slide off my bed & onto the floor. It wasn’t as bad of a clean as it was the last time it happened. WHY I am keeping the case on the edge is beyond me. I haven’t been anywhere nor am I going anywhere. Truly, it is my emergency bag & should be packed properly & ready to roll &/but it’s not. Which means I’m not prepared to go in an emergency. Sooooo, … once again, it’s on!

… because it ain’t my story to tell. Go figure …