Nikki In a Nutshell

There were three young men just outside my door with two huge bags (probably clothes) talking loudly & using a few choice words. They weren’t arguing rather trying to persuade. They belong to the new neighbor a bit more than a month in. I open the door to ask if they were straight. They apologize & said they would go inside. They did so promptly. One of them looked like (in more ways than one) a young man that has done work on my car up the street. Anyway, I hope they can get it together.

So, this is the hill you want to die on …

When I was a little girl I had an unusual interest in my closest relatives. I asked lots of questions of a select few & learned lots. Some questions I didn’t know to ask & certainly didn’t understand the importance of writing my answers down for future reference. As I grew older I would learn that all wasn’t/isn’t lost! I still experience a need to know who & where I come from & all the stories associated with it. To make a beautifully long story short I can say for a certainty that I am a direct descendant of Noah by way of one of his sons! Before that Adam & Eve. Soon, during the resurrection of all who’s names are written in the book of life, many will be welcomed back & will welcome back their loved ones known & unknown. Having been brought face to face with direct family unlike ever before. I often times wonder of some of the joys of Abel’s resurrection both to him & us! For these reasons I won’t submit to any dna tests. I wouldn’t be satisfied with guesses or speculations of any sort, that just won’t do. Since I’ve gotten much older & more in touch with myself I’ve learned of a few things that speak to my soul that never really had in the past. Like pieces to a puzzle that fit perfectly! I’ll share those later!

Once upon a time a very immature/troubled young girl was sent off to do the job of a/her parent, by her parent, with/for her parents little one, on foot. It didn’t get done. We all know not to send a child to do an adults job. Answer me/US this. Why did you send an immature/troubled young teenager off on a task that you nor your partner would show up for, regarding Y’ALLS offspring? Why didn’t YOU see to it? Where was the baby daddy? This is ANOTHER of your ISSUES you’ve made mine. Well, you can have it back. I don’t want it.

I admit I may need to hear something’s many times while others you ain’t gotta tell me twice. Never mind what you thought.

… if I didn’t shout from the rooftop that I had quite the conversation with my grandson on Saturday! He had a lot to say & he is a very good listener! He is a beautiful baby boy! I want to/must see him touch him hold him smell him kiss him show up for him for myself. I feel like if I don’t it wouldn’t be right.

This past weekend was great. Never experienced this kind of great before. I think I belong in a group & all THAT entails. Ground Zero. I knew I was stuck but didn’t know/understand how/why. Explanations were offered but not clear to me right away. Everything AND some would become crystal clear on early Monday morning because I couldn’t/wouldn’t let it go. On Sunday a friend shared thoughts of associating that were nice. Another told me that I was much loved. supported by acts of kindness. Yet another invited me out to dinner! Oh, & my glasses are ready! Grateful I am! Let it show.

Trust me, I do. What you on tho.

Let’s pretend we don’t know one another … & that none of it ever happened … you know, like we BEEN doin’.

As I slept several nights ago my hip slid into place! I was awake long enough to feel it. When I was fourteen years old one side sat higher than the other giving me the appearance that one leg was longer than the other. I do have scoliosis. So for some days now I’ve been experiencing relief in both hips & lower joints on both sides. Now my legs appear even!