You Have No Idea

People. They come and they go. In some way or another. Passing through or to settle in. Welcomed or NOT. Never have I ever been so puzzled by individuals who clearly want nothing to do with you unless it benefits them personally. Until snatched in my collar and quickly drug nose to nose with the one who would introduce this whole other world to me. I was not aware of its definite existence. Yet Id lived there my entire life. Therewith the people. Early on I knew I didn’t belong. The disheartening feedback was unmistakably constant throughout all my years. I’d lost faith in and did not feel secure with ‘grown people’ growing up. As to never forget it.  As far back as three years old. In many childhood photos, my eyes and or facial expressions remind me. Grown people taking sides. Grown people talking about other grown people to other grown people on the phone. Grown people spelling out words letter by letter in an attempt to talk over my head often enough for me to commit these letters to memory while never ‘spelling’ anything with more than four or five letters. So much for big words. Later I’d put two and two together. These are NOT the brightest ‘people’. They are known for sending mixed signals.  How can you speak of or ask about that of which you do not know. This is NOT a question. I needed to know. What I learned was that DECEIT is ALWAYS there ‘in the absolute beginning’ with these people. People who need people. You can ABSOLUTELY see it if you look for it. Choosing NOT to look WILL cost you dearly.

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