In My Dreams

How do you celebrate holidays?

El DeBarge & I have decent association. As do a number of us. We (El & I) found ourselves seated outside on the library steps shooting the breeze regarding a number of things when he announced he was hungry. I wasn’t so of course it was time to bounce. We both stood up & hugged. I laid eyes on his keys still on the stairs. He thanked me & grabbed them. Next thing I know we are in the library. There is a woman inside pushing a rolling cart with goodies on it saying to me “I want you to go home.” I understood her to say that she wanted to go home so I repeated that to her & she quickly corrected me. Oh, you ain’t gotta tell me twice I thought & waved goodbye to El & left. Later on in the day I’m sitting on the pool steps & I see El struggling to walk outside of the library at a distance. I keep my eyes on him noticing his clothes are disheveled & his hair is a mess. I began to wonder if this was really the same day. He then stopped walking, leaned against the wall, with his back toward me & was moving around but I couldn’t tell what he was doing. He then turned around, back now up against the wall, with something wrapped around his arm,, stretched up through his teeth & hanging out a bit. He too had a needle in his hand. Aiming for arm, I looked away. Now El has quite the reputation for this sort of behavior but I’d never seen it. It made me sick. We did not approach one another. I don’t even now if he knew I was anywhere around. There were others around. Eventually we were face to face & it wasn’t good. He attempted to talk but he was making no sense to me. His eyes were different. His voice was different. His demeanor was different. It was horrifying. At one point he appeared to be angry with me. I don’t remember saying a word. I went skating sometime afterward & ran into a few neighborhood associates. Bobby being one. We caught up a bit, then I mentioned El. WHAT DID I DO THAT FOR? His demeanor then changed. He quickly was about the business of making me look awful for being concerned about El. They followed suit. This was how the rest of the dream went. I remained concerned about El. He had been a close associate for a long time.

Aftermath

I was in the passenger seat of a friends car today & she took me through a few neighborhoods that were hit by the tornadoes a while back. We went through fairgrounds & o’fallon parks. Believe me when I tell you that an unbelievable amount of trees were gone. Trees I’ve been looking at/interacting with for decades. I got to lay eyes on a few places where I spent good chunks of my childhood. Every place is so run down. Still I’d like to go inside of a few of them. I remain fond of a few things … but the people … I could have done without. They never fail to mess things up.