The Buck Stops Here

I will start by saying YOU will certainly be feeling some kinda way by the time this is over. Brace yourself. Several weeks ago, I had to confront my bio father with some quite disturbing allegations that my bio mother dumped in my lap/poured into my precious soul over the decades & continued to stir up in my mind until at age 53 when I’d learned who/what she really was/is and what had been happening since the day she realized I was developing in her womb. Out of his own mouth he seemed proud to admit to me that he knew something was wrong with her right away. But you married her and eventually left me with her and basically never looked back. It has taken a number of world shattering events over five decades for me to come to some forever life altering decisions. Errbody mad. Personality disorders are a very real thing. Some people hunt other people. Some people are drawn to disfunction because it is normal for them. Generation after generation. The bullies stick together even sharing victims while victims repeatedly second guess their intuition over and over again often for a lifetime. Some giving in to suicide unable to cope. I began experiencing the devastating effects of emotional neglect at a very early age. Untangling the mess left behind by these individuals has been/is a decision. Either do it or die, absolutely. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever decided to do. You will do it alone. You will come to know that these people are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Once you see them you cannot unsee them. Be brave. You’re gonna need to be.


Author: Nikki In a Nutshell

Inside Out!

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